As we await the necropsy results of a carriage horse who mysteriously dropped dead in Midtown on Sunday morning, Mayor Bloomberg has a message for those opposed to the city's horse carriage industry: it's better than being glue. According to the AP, Bloomberg told reporters today that the horses "probably wouldn't be alive if they didn't have a job." Who wouldn't choose the hard labor of pulling German tourists through Central Park and getting hit by city buses over death's sweet embrace?

The mayor also said that there was no indication that the animal was subject to abuse by its caretakers, and that the horse carriage industry is "part of New York's heritage," sort of like poisoned milk and bedbugs. If Hizzoner had his way, would all that lucrative horse meat that's pouring out of our borders stay in America? Is "main course" a job description? And just imagine if all those horses didn't have work: they'd be collecting unemployment, buying carrots and malt liquor with their EBT cards, and maybe even Occupying Wall Street.